“Level 5 leaders channel their ego needs away from themselves and into the larger goal of building a great company. It’s not that Level 5 leaders have no ego or self-interest. Indeed, they are incredibly ambitious–but their ambition is first and foremost for the institution, not themselves.” Jim Collins

At the heart of every negotiation, each side has a set of motivations and interests which enable them to take  certain positions on issues. When the sides lack an understanding of the other’s interests and motivations, reaching a mutually agreeable decision is very challenging. Before beginning any negotiations, there are a couple of steps I take, to better understand my position on the matter as well as the other individuals position. Chances are, we will not have all the information needed to make an optimal decision. However, the initiative to understand positions better, will greatly improve chances of reaching a common ground.

1. Identify Self Interests: When we enter a negotiation process, there are obviously some goals and targets  we want to achieve. For example lets say,  you want to exit a partnership in a business you have been with for the last 5 years. What are your reasons for wanting to exit? Asking ourselves questions helps to view the issue from an analytical aspect. Identify the reasons for your inability to work with the other partners, is it due to office politics, or to fund an financial emergency need ? We need to be clear about our position to quit when we go to the negotiating table. Internal clarification greatly assists in the communication of our message.

2. Understanding the Other Side: Once your position and the interests which led to its selection is clear, begin to focus on the other side. This is a critical step which gives a holistic view to the issue being discussed. Much of the time we forget to look at the issue from the other’s point of view. We need to not only understand the other side’s position, but also why they have taken it. Through this exercise, it is possible to come up with different positions which may be taken and create counter arguments for them. In the example above, the other partners may look at the sudden request for quitting as suspicious and may choose a hard line when negotiating terms of exit. You could be a critical member of the team whose departure will cripple the firm. As many possible positions should be taken into account.

3. Candid Discussions: Both parties need to have detailed discussions to help each other understand points of view from each angle. Sometimes this can be difficult when individuals do not want to cooperate, this is quite common. The fact of the matter is, if we choose to take the hard ball route, one side is forcing their position down the other side without paying adequate attention to the other’s interests. To make any progress, one needs to gauge what, and how, the other side thinks to be able to reach common ground. This is a difficult process if candid discussions are not part of the organization and will take time. However it is well worth the wait.

Negotiating is a challenging task. If we just look at the surface on “what the other side wants” instead of also asking “Why do they want it?” we will only have half the picture. By taking the initiative to understand our own interests as well as those of the other side, will provide us the ability to look at the bigger picture and make a more informed decision. Becoming stubborn and refusing to pay attention to the other’s interests, or dismissing them all together will only make the negotiations difficult.