interests | Usman Sheikh

Focus on the Problem

“When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but creatures of emotion.” Dale Carnegie

Dale Carnegie’s quote, eloquently summarizes a major challenge we face at the negotiating table. Negotiations tend to get complicated due to the fact, that as human beings we bring a lot of baggage to the process. In the seminal book “Getting to Yes” by Roger Fisher and William Ury, they have a dedicated section devoted to separating the personal element as much as possible, from the negotiation process. They identify three main segments which tend to complicate matters repeatedly, they are perceptions, emotions and communications. Listed below are a few tips on dealing with each segment.

1. Perceptions: As stated in yesterday’s blog post, if we do not look adequately into the other sides position and interests, our perceptions will be skewed. We may perceive an issue in a certain manner because of a particular reason, whereas, it could be due to something completely different. We need to open up candid discussions on both sides. Unless this is done, both sides will blame the other and point fingers. Each side needs to be part of negotiation process, as also clear on each other’s positions, to reach a mutually agreeable decision.

2. Emotions: This area tends to complicate matters during the negotiation process as a routine. To become an adept negotiator, one needs to become emotionally aware of ourselves and others. Emotions tend to play either a positive or negative role in negotiations. It is only when negative emotions such as anger, fear and distrust come into play, that reaching a consensus becomes very challenging. As skilled negotiators it is important to keep a constant check on our own emotional levels, as well as that of the other person. When we sense a boiling point it is important to diffuse the situation by either changing our stance or by temporarily leaving the scene. It is important to focus on the issue at hand and not take personal jabs at the other person.

3. Communication: During the negotiating process if the involved individuals are not able to communicate properly, chances of reaching any sort of agreement is minimal. We need to ensure that during the negotiation process both parties communicate clearly and listen actively. At the same time, we need to be aware of non verbal communication as well. Key factors such as eye contact, facial expressions and body posture are continuously communicating messages to the other side. We also need to be aware of the non verbal cues we may be receiving from the other side as well. Miscommunication is one of the primary reasons why negotiations break down, we must ensure that the focus on keeping channels of communication clear at all times is maintained.

The entire objective of negotiating is to find a mutually acceptable consensus. To ensure that this objective is achieved, we need to keep the process as simple as possible. If we complicate the process by bringing external baggage into the equation, chances of reaching a consensus become slim. We need to ensure focus on the issue at hand at all times. This will undoubtedly be challenging, and there will be moments when our emotions will get the better of us. However, if we always remind ourselves of the core issue and make a concentrated effort to reach a consensus, both sides will benefit.

Understanding Motivations and Interests

“Level 5 leaders channel their ego needs away from themselves and into the larger goal of building a great company. It’s not that Level 5 leaders have no ego or self-interest. Indeed, they are incredibly ambitious–but their ambition is first and foremost for the institution, not themselves.” Jim Collins

At the heart of every negotiation, each side has a set of motivations and interests which enable them to take certain positions on issues. When the sides lack an understanding of the other’s interests and motivations, reaching a mutually agreeable decision is very challenging. Before beginning any negotiations, there are a couple of steps I take, to better understand my position on the matter as well as the other individuals position. Chances are, we will not have all the information needed to make an optimal decision. However, the initiative to understand positions better, will greatly improve chances of reaching a common ground.

1. Identify Self Interests: When we enter a negotiation process, there are obviously some goals and targets we want to achieve. For example lets say, you want to exit a partnership in a business you have been with for the last 5 years. What are your reasons for wanting to exit? Asking ourselves questions helps to view the issue from an analytical aspect. Identify the reasons for your inability to work with the other partners, is it due to office politics, or to fund an financial emergency need ? We need to be clear about our position to quit when we go to the negotiating table. Internal clarification greatly assists in the communication of our message.

2. Understanding the Other Side: Once your position and the interests which led to its selection is clear, begin to focus on the other side. This is a critical step which gives a holistic view to the issue being discussed. Much of the time we forget to look at the issue from the other’s point of view. We need to not only understand the other side’s position, but also why they have taken it. Through this exercise, it is possible to come up with different positions which may be taken and create counter arguments for them. In the example above, the other partners may look at the sudden request for quitting as suspicious and may choose a hard line when negotiating terms of exit. You could be a critical member of the team whose departure will cripple the firm. As many possible positions should be taken into account.

3. Candid Discussions: Both parties need to have detailed discussions to help each other understand points of view from each angle. Sometimes this can be difficult when individuals do not want to cooperate, this is quite common. The fact of the matter is, if we choose to take the hard ball route, one side is forcing their position down the other side without paying adequate attention to the other’s interests. To make any progress, one needs to gauge what, and how, the other side thinks to be able to reach common ground. This is a difficult process if candid discussions are not part of the organization and will take time. However it is well worth the wait.

Negotiating is a challenging task. If we just look at the surface on “what the other side wants” instead of also asking “Why do they want it?” we will only have half the picture. By taking the initiative to understand our own interests as well as those of the other side, will provide us the ability to look at the bigger picture and make a more informed decision. Becoming stubborn and refusing to pay attention to the other’s interests, or dismissing them all together will only make the negotiations difficult.